As accomplished as I consider myself, I have a horrible habit of not finishing things I start simply because I don’t want them to end. I hated having to part with situations that brought me joy. Joy felt scarce in my life, so I would hold to anything even though it had the unintended consequence of stagnation.

I would always prolong reaching the endings of TV shows or books I read. When I started, it was an instant love. I often select these things based on vibes. I hope to get highly excited and rush through, then when I notice I am at the midpoint, I begin to slow down to delay the inevitable.

My need to hoard moments to keep joy trickled into other areas of my life. As a result, I paused many of my interests indefinitely, and guilt and regret set in, causing more guilt. On the upside, I have become a jack of all trades.

Looking back at this trait, I realised that I wasn’t only holding on to the joy, but also to unnecessary baggage. I have been my harshest critic and spared no insults. I got caught between the opinions of others and my own fears, and I got stuck. I felt so comfortable that I convinced myself to stay there longer than I needed.

I slowly removed myself because there was a need for me to align on all aspects of my life. I am in a place where I embrace endings because I see the opportunity to create a new beginning. I have received many blessings since I decided it was time to let go, and I will have to continue reminding myself to stay on this path.

Now that I have accomplished my goals and let go, joy has arrived and stayed. I have been dedicated to completing some courses and making an effort to incorporate more rest and exercise into my routine. I am embracing more positivity in my existence and, most importantly, learning to accept all the versions of me that have manifested within my lifetime.