Being an adult so far for me has been a very confusing experience. The adult experience sold to me by the elders in my community is entirely different to what I am encountering now. All I heard growing up was how “boys and books don’t mix”, “pre-material sex was a fast track to hell”, “working hard is the best way to get a job and have a good life”, and “you need to know how to cook to secure a husband”.

I was issued these bullet points of generic situations, but no one told me how to deal with being bullied at work, cope with death or heartbreak or keep going when it was clear that I was emotionally drained. It was clear from observing my parents’ generations that being strong and suffering in silence were badges of honour. It was impossible to speak or show any emotion of sadness. How is that ok for an entire generation of people to suffer because of the taboo associated with expressing emotions?

In my existence on this earth, I saw my parents cry once. My mom, at my grandmother’s funeral, and my dad, when he was sick. At that moment, I saw my parents as people scared of what life was going to be like after this ordeal. I understood that it was overwhelming to keep going and they needed to release. At that moment, they were surrounded by close family and friends, and there were no judgements. I need this no judgement wave to remain because too many people are suffering and dying because of internal conflict.